For sheer ridiculousness this summer, go no further than Sacred Seven, which appears to have been written as part of a Mad Libs challenge. Not content to just be a cookie-cutter show about Some Guy who discovers his Amazing Hidden Powers, this one takes all the cookie-cutter shapes available and melts them into a head-spinning mess. Our hero is Alma Tandoji, an orphaned high schooler who looks angry and supposedly beat up 18 kids a few years back, but is actually a sensitive soul who only fights out of a sense of justice. (Come on, girls! He's a tortured bad boy with a kind heart!) After Alma witnesses a ship exploding on the bay, he forgets the shocking incident until a young girl named Ruri—equipped with a magical amulet and a talking ancient artifact, naturally—comes to his door and asks him to utilize his Amazing Hidden Powers.
Of course, Alma refuses to believe in such supernatural nonsense, until he learns that a re-animated statue from the capsized ship is terrorizing the town and shooting lasers at everything. Yes, that is correct: this show has a Laser-Shooting Zombie Statue. Alma, noble soul that he is, heads out to protect a vulnerable classmate of his, and in doing so transforms into a character from Tiger and Bunny. No, actually, his powers awaken, resulting in animated pyrotechnics that make absolutely no sense to the untrained eye.
Although packed to the gills with striking visual designs (Mobile suit mechs! Bionic exo-armor! Explosions! Magic!), as well as constantly dramatic music, the overwhelming impression of Sacred Seven is how incoherent it is. It's as if a whole class of delusional eighth-grade geeks teamed up and said, "I like maids!" "Well, I like robots!" "I like superhero suits!" "I like ancient historical magic!" and for lack of creative direction, just chucked it all together. The high-octane set pieces may provide a quick thrill, but if this series continues to thrash about aimlessly, it'll soon land in the pile of action anime that no one cares about after a few months.
